Wellness Wednesday; Self Care Package for May

Welcome Back

It would be fair to call this a bumpy year so far, but I’ve taken a big step into self care practice and the difference is amazing. I have recently had my first Reiki treatment and it was THE most incredible healing experience ever. It has made a massive difference to my anxiety, depression and grief issues and physical pain issues too.

Now I know this is a game of managing symptoms not things that are ‘fixable’ but this is the first time I have found something that has had this much of a positive result. I felt so blissed out afterwards and had the most comforting, nurturing feeling of being held for days afterwards.

I totally agreed with the lady who suggested meditation daily would be useful for me.  The lady did a lot of grounding work with me and this is the most IN my body I’ve ever felt and in a good way. It felt like my soul had come home. Now its my job to make this body and this house a place it wants to stay in.

Goddess calls, Sound Therapy and Shamanic Drums

Recently I discovered Elen of the Ways, she is an antlered goddess, one who has associations with reindeer, following their paths and lay-lines. I have long been interested in lay-lines and dowsing with rods, and recently had help to create my own dowsing rods. I love my crystal pendulums which I regularly use too.  I have felt so lost and scattered for many years and Elen seems the perfect goddess for me at the moment and I hope we journey together for a long time.

Elen of the Ways helped me find the Reiki healer, led me to my Shamanic drum, more grounding crystals came home and I re-learnt the importance of grounding and how sound plays into that journey. Many thanks to Jonathan from Heron Drums who creates the most amazing drums, much like crystals drums seem to choose those who need them most in the moment. I am the very humble, honored owner of a reindeer drum which has a smokey quartz crystal in the lacing at the back. I cried when I heard it played. FIle it under ‘Your soul speaks only as loud as it needs for you to listen’. Lets just say if I ignore my soul she just gets louder and makes me cry when I see what I most need on my journey. Limited dexterity means I can’t play the drum for long but the sound is very grounding and she is totally going to be part of my healing journey.

I’ve put a singing bowl on the landing, which I sound when I pass it, so I take a moment or two to be with that sound and being still.

Also on the sound therapy exploration I have invested in the Koshi chimes, the first one arrived today, the Ignis, OMG its soooo soothing, so I will live on weetabix to enable me to collect the others; terra, aria, aqua too.

Some new crystals have settled here and are helping as well.

I hope this doesn’t read as a boastful brag post because it really isn’t. I have seen self care as self indulgent and felt guilty just for buying a magazine. but after the healing effect of the Reiki, I realise that self care is not just important its vital. We live in a society that expects us to keep going till breaking point. WHY???? We have been fed this idea for so long it feels like its our idea too and we are bad people if we do not or cannot keep up.

Well I’m stepping into my power and saying this is what I NEED to survive right now.

Gentle soothing sounds, rest, sleep, to be still and process.

To be cautious of who is around me, as an INJF and empath, I feel the emotions of others really strongly, often way more strongly than they do. So I need time away from others to recover from intense energies and emotions.

I don’t drink, smoke, have holidays or even go out, so I will cultivate my meditation space, create a place I want to be in; be that a womb room to feel held, a zen den to step into silence, a shamanic area to drum, a place of solace within these walls.

I need to surround myself with what make me feel safe, nurtured, held and comforted in that space because that is what I most need in this moment. Others cannot fix this for me and I need to nurture myself and surround myself with what feels healing.

I also need Reiki in my life to help me re balance, ground and make peace with this body and this time and space that I find myself in.

I hope you find what feeds your soul, makes you smile, makes right now feel possible and can go for it, or at least take some steps towards it. All we have is right now, this moment, nothing and no one is forever, please do what makes you feel safe, feel nurtured, feel honored and respected in whatever safe way you can.

Thanks for reading

May all beings find peace, love & light

Billie x

 

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Wellness Wednesday: Art Saves

Welcome Back

Today I’d like to share some places I’ve found to help me follow my bliss in the Art Saves category. I need art like I need air. I don’t often have the mojo or energy to create but I still need art, to watch others create, to read about it, or sometimes just sitting with an open box of crayola crayons drinking in that soothing smell.

Here are some places you can find some art bliss.

Kelly Rae Roberts is a wonderful artist, her book Taking Flight; Inspiration and techniques to give your creative spirit wings was a real life changer for me, its what gave me the courage to start my other blog Billies Craft Room ten years ago. I was just in the right place at the right time recently to be able to take her up on her special offer price for all her online classes. I’ve wanted to take her Mixed media Matras classs for so long and as soon as I heard her read a chapter from that book, I cried, remembering all the reasons I loved her book and the reasons I love art, need art and created the other blog. It brought me home to my art.

Jane Davenport: PLEASE if you haven’t found her before and you like the idea of using your art stash instead of collecting it and stroking it from time to time, please come visit her site. Oh how I wish she had been my teacher in school, she is so empowering and inspiring.

Book: This is the latest book to my art collection; ‘Create Your Life Book’ by Tamara Laporte.

Links

Follow your bliss, do what makes your soul sing, and your heart flutter in a good way. We might not be able to escape the anxiety, depression and grief right now, but having a soul food parcel of things that help us hold safe space for ourselves, to honor the feelings and have a safe way to express them without judgement, correction or shame can sometimes really help.

Not ready to create from scratch but still want to play? I give you permission to purchase one of the colouring books meant for grown ups with patterns, or animals or whatever calls to you, and raid the kids pencils cases, or treat yourself to some pencils or pens or paints, meditation for the soul doesn’t always have to be cross legged on the floor. It can also be curled up on the sofa with a colouring book and pencils. Please feel free to follow what you are called towards, that makes this moment feel softer.

Best wishes and thanks for reading, see you soon

Billie

 

Meditation Monday: Follow your bliss

Welcome Back

I am in a state of bliss atm, just got my Yinyang tattoo a few days ago and I feel so connected, content and loved right now. This is not a feeling I am used too, but it is very nice.

I’m not one who has found it easy to exist in this body, it is a form with many limitations, and a lot of physical and mental pain, so I retreat to my head a lot. Yet here too there is often little peace. Tattoos are helping me heal my connection to this body and they are helping so much.

It surprises me that I have tattoos, for one thing I HATE with a passion needles and normally I do all that I can to come in contact with them, but thanks to numbing cream this has allowed me to add life lessons to my body in the form of tattoo’s which are helping me view this skin as a safer place to be, with the life lessons I am adding to it, it now becomes a sanctuary, one I can check in with my ink to remind me of what is most important.

Heart Tattoo

This was my first ink, just a little one, see how it went, see if I could hack the pain and get more. But its the meaning behind it that is important.To come at things from a place of love not a place of fear. As someone who lives in an almost constant place of anxiety, trying to remember that I was loved and that I too deserve kindness, love and respect is a lesson I often forget. When I see this heart, it reminds me to stop and ask, is my reaction coming from a place of love or a place of fear. If it comes from a place of fear, it reminds me to stop and wait till I can connect with a softer emotion. That it is ok to hide n wait.

YinYang Tattoo

This is the one I just got. I have a lot of connections to this ink. It took a while to decide if it was right for me, but the time taken to ponder, to journal helped me find out what it would mean to have this on my skin

Life lessons

  1. A friend once told me that however dark the night gets, the sun will still rise in the morning. (Thanks A). This phrase has helped me a lot, in those long dark nights of the soul.
  2. This symbol has connections to Zen Buddhism and Tao which I’m interested in learning about. It has connections to my late husband too, but he wouldn’t want me to get ink FOR him, he’d want me to get it for me. Like the previous reason, its a lesson that nothing is forever. No one is forever, impermanence and change are the constants in life. The only control we have is our reaction to those situations. Everything that is born, will one day die. I have lost too many people very close to me and carry that pain close to my heart, I still have anger, grief, sadness. But the impermanence teaches that in time all things will pass. This too shall pass, is a phrase I used to have written on my mirror.
  3. There is no shadow without the light. I want this ink to remind me that the ‘black dog’ I fight with, dislike, would like to be rid of, is just another of those things that I have to live WITH, its not something I can outrun, outwit. Like the hyperflexing, like the sensitivity to others energy its something that is about learning about what triggers it, and working WITH it, to find a manageable co habitation.

Am I ready to embrace n love my darkness, no, I’m still processing, still learning who I am, what I want or don’t want. what I like or don’t like. What I will have to carry along with me and what is safe to set down and let time and space heal. As someone whose defalt setting is making sure everyone else is ok, stuff the consequences to me, its difficult to shift a bit to, letting my needs get on the list too.

I like that these images will last my life time. That  when gravity gets too heavy I can look at my yinyang and ask ‘what does this situation need to find balance, do I need to take action or wait it out. That I can look at my arm and say ‘You were loved’.

The next tattoo I want to get is of an Enso.

In Zen the closed circle represents enlightenment, completion. The open circle, that you are on the path to enlightenment but are still learning still growing.

For me this one sums up perfectly the tag line from my other blog; ‘Its all about the journey’.

All we have is right now, this second, this moment. That this moment is a sentence, in the chapter not the whole story. What can I do to make this moment feel softer?

Like the Olly Anna song says: ‘I’m the only one who can write my story, ain’t nobody else that will do that for me.’

Links

Here is a wonderful video by Chungliang Al Huang who explains about the background to Yinyang. Please watch this video makes you feel so alive.

Here is a video talking about Enzo in Japanese Zen

I’m on the path to accepting and embracing who I am, working it out step by step, day by day, lesson by lesson. Feeling my way through this journey of life, isn’t pleasant experience but its the path I’m on, so I seek to tread carefully and with love and respect for all.

Best wishes and thanks for reading, see you soon

Billie

 

 

 

Poem A Day April 2018 and healing

Hi

Is this really the first post of the year?! Suffice to say its been that kinda year, nuff said. Heads up for Aprils Poem a Day challenge over on the awesome Writers Digest website.

Poetry

These wonderful people have a challenge in April and November where they post a prompt every day. The rest of the year its a promt on Wednesdays for poetry. I’m not good with deadlines, so tbh I tend to make note of them in a little book and go to them when I am in a calmer headspace.

I’m not one of those people who sit down to write poems, my poems tend to pounce on me, I’m feeling a certain feeling, words swirling like bee’s in my head then sometimes, suddenly they seem to start flowing together and I think, ohh I quite like that, lets write it down. For me its quite a healing thing writing, journalling, poem-ing (its prob not a word but I am calling it that, coz Im sure I’ ve read that somewhere or other. If its a thing do let me know 🙂

Art Saves

In other news (as its been so long) I’ve been reading a truely awesome book called ‘What your clutter trying to tell you?’ OMG life changer, game changer. I have a lot of stuck energy, a lot of things I no longer want or need yet feel too attatched to to, let them go somewhere else. That book is really helping me re frame.

What has this to do with art??? Well it brought me back to someone who changed my life and gave me the courage to start my other blog Billie’s Craft Room, gee almost 10 years ago now! Her name Kelly Rae Roberts.

BUT

Decluttering is still a challenging process for me, and although after a while the open space it creates ultimately feels good, in the short term it is painful. I need time to mentally grieve for stuff I ‘have to let go of’ and it needs a cry, a sleep and to be honoured, not corrected n told off. I do that a lot to myself and want a kinder approach.

As a result I took March as a month for ‘me’ for self care and kindness. I’m processing a lot of pain atm and selfcare and ‘me’ anything is just not something I do. But after someone treating me very badly it taught me once and for all that there are worse things than being alone, and that’s being around people who judge, correct and shame me when they have no clue of what things are like or feel like. I loved the phrase about parenting yourself and understanding that endings hurt and to go slow and gentle.

What did self care look like, {shuffles feet} a heck of a lot of manifesting! I know classic horder, get stuff out of the house and the instant reaction is replace is asap, but I was creating tlc sacred space, working out what I NEED to feel nurtured, honoured and loved. For me it was much as it has been since a child, not people but books, art supplies, and a card deck or three.

You want to know what or which? Please leave a comment to ask me as I will share if asked but don’t want this to turn into a ‘look at all my stash’ kinda post. I plan to blog a bit more to share ‘stuff’ that has been part of my healing journey. I write when I can, but the ‘black dog’ has been flattening me this year and it takes a lot of energy to wrestle with it.

Kelly Rae Roberts

This is WAY too late in the post to get to this but if you haven’t heard of her before please, please check out Kelly Rae Roberts, she is a mixed media artist and her courses are SO healing. I started her Wear You Joy eclass as I quickly read between the lines and saw it was about much more than the contents of your wardrobe and more about finding who you are right now and that is very much the page of discover and healing I’m trying to process at the moment. Kelly Rae also had an awesome offer which at last I was in the right place at the right time to jump in with  and bundled her Mixed Media Mantra class and her Angel mantras. I’ve wanted to do those two classes for SOOOO long.

Thank you Kelly Rae for your special offers and to the Universe for waking me up in time for the deal.

Susannah Conway: Your Souls Speaks

Online class about listening to your intuition. Wonderful, I’ve been saving the emails as got poorly and couldn’t process when it was live but its waiting for me and I love it. Again very much tlc.

Allow

Most of the time its the voice that says; couldn’t shouldn’t mustn’t, can’t, that wins but for March I tried a quieter one that said: ‘Just say yes’. My heart, my soul and my intuition do nudge me toward good things, happy things, kind things but the negative voice mostly wins. My word for the year is ALLOW, so for a month I stepped out of my own way and treid to do just that; Allow.

Links

 

Self Love September Card Spread

Welcome Back

Today I’d like to share an Oracle/Tarot spread for Self Love September. I was using old favorite spreads and combining them in the last few days, when suddenly I noticed they looked like a capital letter I. So I thought that it would be an ideal spread for Self Love. In a busy world we often do so much for others, this month and indeed this spread is intended to help us answer the question; ‘What do I need right now?’ The deck shown is Vintage Wisdom Oracle by Victoria Moseley.

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Self Love September: Card Spread

Shuffle your chosen deck the way you prefer too, I have used both shuffle n see what flies out, or sticks up from the other cards but sometimes go with shuffle and then spread the whole deck in a line n see which cards I’m drawn too. Please feel free to go with what feel right for you, in that moment.

Top row

Card 1: What does my mind need right now?

Card 2: What does my body need right now?

Card 3: What does my spirit/soul need right now?

Middle row

Card 4: Question of the day [this is the question uppermost on your mind today, you can make this two cards if you felt one wasn’t enough]

Bottom Row

Card 5: What is my guidance for today?

Card 6: What is my lesson for today? [reword as needed, depending if you prefer to do this draw in the morning or at night]

Card 7: Hidden knowledge. [For drawing this card gather the deck together and then select the card at the bottom of the deck]

I’m not claiming this is anything new, just one I was playing with the last few days and noticing it was in the shape of an I, made me want to share it with your for this project. If you like this deck; Vintage Wisdom Oracle by Victoria Moseley, I will be sharing a review on it in the next few days.

Links

Best wishes and thanks for reading, see you soon

Billie

 

 

Winter Survival Plan: November 2016

Welcome Back

For a number of reasons I find the winter months very difficult, so for all those whose hearts also sink as the light levels drop here are a few sites n projects that I would like to share to help us through the long winter evenings. These are just a few ways I’m going to use to distract from the anxiety and depression and hopefully add to my mindfulness options as a gentler way to deal with difficult times. Enjoy

Poem A Day (PAD) Chapbook Challenge over on Writers Digest

This is a twice yearly event one in April and another in NOvember, where the lovely people post daily prompts for you to write poetry too. You can post your finished pieces to the site, or submit them to the competition itself, but for me I just like to write down all the prompts and write as the muse grabs me. If you would like to join in, I’ll add a link at the end of the post. All you need is a journal and a pencil so its free to play at this level.

Susannah Conway e-course Daily Guidance

As those of you who read this regularly may know, I have taken Susannah’s The Sacred Alone course earlier in the year and it was AMAZING!!!!! I adore Oracle cards and it was mention of this course that got me into them when I first visited her website earlier in the year. Daily Guidance is going to cover using Oracle cards and Tarot cards in an intuative way, for personal growth and journalling. I adore journalling, when my hands allow. I have to admit that until recently I have had no interest in Tarot and if I’m really honest viewed it in a bad light. BUT being open minded I wanted to learn more and although when I signed up for this course was going to focus on the Oracle deck side of things, I am now the proud owner of two lovely Tarot decks, and am eager to learn to use them for healing and spiritual growth. Link to the class at the end of the post. My two Tarot decks are The Dreaming Way and also The Gaian Tarot, I could continue of my love for these decks but that is for another post. I’m trying to sit on my hands and NOT fall into the collector of Tarot decks like I have become with the Oracle decks but perhaps different Tarot decks also share different energies like the Oracle decks do so more may well happen in time.

There are other e-courses on different subjects on Susannah’s website too.

Joanna Powell Colbert e-courses

One of the Tarot decks I purchased was Joanna Powell Colbert’s The Gaian Tarot, there will be a very gushy post at another time as to how wonderful this is but on visiting her site and following her on Twitter I found out about an E-course called 30 Days of Hecate –  A Daily Sacred Pause of Welcoming Hallowmas. Link at the end of the post. I admit to knowing nothing about Hecate but I am expolring my spiritual options this year, I adored Denise Linn’s book Kindling the Native Spirit and my body is certainly very in tune with the weather and seasons as pain levels and more are also very effected by them so I am interested in learning more about earth based practices. Join up quick on this one as it starts 24th October.

When my hands allow I have also been batch making soup n such for the freezer so when I feel exhausted or my hands don’t work there will still be another option to a ready meal as an option in the freezer. Yes food does make a big difference to mood, so eat as well as your health allows. May the weather be kind, may you find hope courage and comfort in what ever you do to plan a coping strategy through the long dark evenings. Let me know what your strategies are, would love to hear about them, and your fave Oracle and Tarot decks too. #Confession I’ve also started a collection of Tarot books, but not all have arrived yet and I will hold off reading them till AFTER Susannah’s class.

Rise Sister Rise by Rebecca Campbell

This is my book of the month, need to swap the copy I have as it arrived damaged but she is an amazing empowering writer and since I loved her Light is the New Black book so much I HAD to get this too.

Links

Best wishes and thanks for reading, look forward to hearing your strategies for winter.

Namaste

B x

Wellness Wednesday 4: Affirmation cards and Oracle Decks

Welcome Back

Its the time of the week when we check in with ourselves and ask; ‘How’s it going?’ today I’d like to share my daily practice, what led to it and how it helps, when the answer to the question above isn’t a positive one.

Daily Practice

This started after taking Susannah Conway’s e-course The Sacred Alone. My day currently starts with. Meditation, before my head has a chance to get too busy on me. This is followed by picking a card or more from one of my decks, if the cards really ‘speak to me’ as in I really connect or react to an image, then I journal about that for a little while. Then I finish with a daily reading from Kyle Gray’s book Raise Your Vibration to give me a positive start to the day.

Breakfast with gentle music not blaring TV n doom n gloom news. I know this doesn’t sound achievable for a lot of people but for those of us who are shun ins (agoraphobia means I can’t go out) then it can have a massive difference to the way your head starts the day. It can in time also help you want to preserve that softer, gentler head space and for me that means, I’m less likely to put tv on unless there is something I really want to see and instead invest the time in a book I really want to read or a magazine that inspires me too.

When you start to achieve softer spaces in your day, they can make a really big difference to all areas of your life. I hope you are finding your own ways to create this with this project we have been doing this month, with Self Love September.

My journey with these kinds of cards began after my husband died. Am I trying to contact him with them NO, its not about that, its about tuning into my own heart n soul. Listening to the heart whispers, the soul whispers. We all have them and they don’t always just whisper, still a skeptic? Think of the last time you saw an amazing pair of shoes, or car and your heart skipped a beat or did that happy squeal of delight at even the thought it you could one day own them, that’s a soul whisper 😉

The thing is, for me when I lost someone who was my soul mate, it made me feel like I had been blown in to a million pieces, it takes time to find all the pieces, and they sure as heck don’t always go back where they came from and you don’t always find them all.

There is some massive rewiring that goes on when you loose all that made sense to you in the past as well as the person you loved so deeply. You look at this ‘new world’ that you don’t feel part of anymore and feel like you are in free-fall. Someone once said ‘When you have your heart broken, or become that broken, it leaves you open to  new things’ and that’s how its been for me.

Since nothing made sense, the rules have gone, lets see what else is out there. Do what you always do get what you always got, so what happens if I try different things. That is the page I’m on now, trying new things, seeing what feels nice n what doesn’t its square one day one for me. Sometimes only through complete surrender to a situation, does it make shifting into new patterns possible.

Affirmation decks

Before you take to the hills at this title, lets start slow. Are you one of those people who has a board on Pinterest for all those amazing quotes that really touch your heart? Yep hands up me too. I went on to make my own affirmation cards from my favorites and have a little note book with some that were really special as a go too book for hopeful messages, when I feel low. Its good to step away from technology, have something tactile in your hands.

If all that sounds a bit hard work, did you know you can buy beautifully made decks of cards with these healing words on? Well ya can! The two I have gone for are The Four Agreements and also Miracles now. I love the concept of The Four Agreements and hope to buy the book later in the year, the images on the cards seem quite art journal style which also attracted me too them.

Walk through on You Tube by Madam LaVey

The other set that I have on order and I hope by the time this goes live, will be in my hands is; Miracles Now. Rebecca Campbell speaks highly of the author Gabrielle Bernstein and I saw a video of them by New Age Hipster on You Tube. If you are enjoying Light is the New Black, these are along similar uplifting, motivational lines.

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Oracle Cards

Still with me, YEY high five! Don’t be worried these aren’t all woo woo, not all scary images (not the deck’s I’ll share with you) and certainly NOT about calling up those who have gone before, well not to me in how I use them. I’ll tell you the story if you grab a brew n settle in for a long post 😉 Well the nights are drawing in and maybe you like a story 🙂

After a visit to Susannah Conway’s website where she wrote a post about Oracle decks I was curious. Followed a link and ended up on Blue Angel Publishing’s website n found Kuan Yin deck. Went to the author’s website Alana Fairchild where she has an online oracle version of the deck for you to try out. Go for the one with the lady with her arms above her head. The writing next to the deck image is a cut down version of the books description but you will get the idea. You can also buy these decks on Amazon.

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Still being a cautions soul, I next went to You Tube to see a walk through of the deck, this is controversial and dubious copyright but I don’t see it that way and although it has put me off buying some decks, it has encouraged me to buy way more than I otherwise would habe bought. (They are addictive, because the art is so nice and each deck has different vibe n different focus on things). I ordered Kuan Yin from Amazon and its AMAZING, so kind, so gentle so healing. My late husband used to say ‘listen to your heart’ but I am indecisive n any decision I would bat too and fro for ages so I struggled to do that. For me I meditate to slow my busy head, shuffle the cards and see what comes up. Sometimes and particularly with the Kuan Yin deck I just let one card fall out and read the book. It has such kind healing words, I needed to hear that. I don’t see or talk to people enough to hear kind words as often as I need to hear them and this deck fills that gap for me.

I also have Gaia Oracle with art work by Toni Salerno, I love this deck as there is so much in the images that I often don’t read the book but see what they say to me. Before you scoff, we all do it, look at the cover of a book and feel a reaction to the image, this is no different to that. As for interpreting the image, think English Literature class at school you all read the same book and all had your own view on it. That’s how the card reading goes for me.

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Being drawn to nature I adore the Denise Linn Native Spirit oracle. Personally although I have no known connection to Native American culture, I have always loved and respected it, for the way it honors everything around it in nature. These cards have stunning images which I wanted to meditate on and again this deck I mostly just feel how i feel about the image n don’t read the book

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You Tube walk through of the Native Spirit Deck by Lavender Moon Witch

Well this post got way longer than I expected, and way more personal than I’d intended. But these cards can be really useful for healing old wounds and I just wanted to share some options for healing and therapy when you can’t access or don’t feel comfortable with other routes.

Thank you so much for reading, most of these come up on Amazon as and when available or you can get them through the publishers especially if you are outside the UK.

Best wishes and thanks for reading, see you soon. Namaste.