Today is about checking in with yourself. How are things going? Are you meeting your needs? What do you feel you need? One thing I struggle with a lot is rumination. That busy brain that frets on things ALL the time, day and night and won’t let me rest because its frantic to work out a solution, especially when I want to rest. Here is something that helped me and I hope helps you too.
Did you treat yourself to some stationary? Have you got a pad n a folder to put stuff in? Its time to get writing in it. I use an A4 lined pad and a ringbinder for my Rumination folder.
First of all, identify the thing that you are stressing on. (Yes I know there are millions of them but we can only write one at a time and we’ll get to the others, breathe, it will be ok). Lets say we are worried we will forget to get the car serviced, we worry about the costs, where to have it done, how it will get there and, and and. For this example in the folder lets write
Situation: Car Service
Date: This is important, some things are time critical, so if something has a date on it, put the date its due by. You can also add a start by for booking etc so you get a reminder sooner, to give yourself time to plan.
What needs to happen:
List all the things that need to happen to get the car serviced. Find somewhere to have it done, find out the price, find the budget for the price, book it in, get the car there, pay for it, collect car.
Can YOU do any of these things yourself? if you can write ME next to the ones you can do, and maybe set a date for doing them too.
Who can I ask: If there are aspects you cannot do yourself, can you think of others who can or might help you? These get a flag next to them. underneath write I need help from…. and make details of who you can ask.
Budget: Finding the funds:
When you get the service done the first time, make a note of how much it cost and when its due again. Divide this number by 12 and that’s how much to set aside each month for next time.
Plan: This is the list of things that worked, that you learnt along the way, so next time you can look back to see what worked. It can just be the notes you have so far in the folder, if you got on ok this time, you could use that same garage next time too, reducing searching time for places to have it done.
I used the example of a car service as its something that a lot of us can relate too, but you can use this same principle for anything that is stressing you out. Its about writing down, what the situation is, then gradually filling in the other steps as you are able too. If you are really freaking out about a situation, then there may only be a few steps of this that you can fill in, that’s ok. Keep an eye on the date, and put it in the folder in date order with other things. That way your most important urgent things are at the top.
Our brains seem designed to problem solve, which is helpful but in todays world things don’t happen one at a time, they come in groups on the same bus! This causes overload as your brain cannot process that much at once and its when the overload n overwhelm turn up. This technique is a way to break things down to help you see the steps needed for any situation and gradually work out what needs doing, what YOU can do so you don’t feel like you have lost control of the situation, its OK to delegate stuff, its OK to ask for help, not many people service their own cars 😉 Let go of the pride n ask for the help you need.
This way, when you are on the look or wake at 3am with a sudden solution, you can go to your folder and fill in the part you suddenly had the solution too. Because the situations are in the folder, if you brain starts going over them when you want to go to sellp you can tell it. ‘Its ok, its in the folder, we don’t need to think about this now’. Will it be the magic bullet for over thinking, probably not, its just a wiring thing, we are hard wired to think this way BUT it can help, and it can help you to train your brain when its ok to let go of thoughts n not dwell on them 24/7. Instead of thinking oh here’s another thing I need to do/remember how will I do all this, how will I remember all this, write it down, walk away. Now you can look at smaller pieces, and go through a folder to see what is achievable what is urgent and what is the next step to make it feel more possible.
Hope this helps for you too, do give it a go and I’d love to hear how you get on. BTW yes there is a place for gadgets n so on but there is also a lot to be said for letting your eyes have a rest from screens and doing some of this on paper too. The act of writing things out seems to be a more tactile powerful experience some how.
How about you, what have you found helpful for limiting the thoughts that circle in your head with no solution in sight?
Best wishes and thanks for reading, see you soon. Namaste