Yesterday’s sunshine has gone, replaced by drizzle which makes the cold wind feel colder. A good day to play with blog themes and chill out on Pinterest, dreaming of the garden you would create if you had all the time and money needed. My other excuse is that I’ve rather over done it in the garden this week and my body is letting me know so I am taking it slow for a while.
One thing I’ve discovered is that the the faster you run to keep up with this rapidly spinning world, the faster it appears to spin, so you speed up, and so does it and so on. Then one day wham, it span too fast and you fall off!
or slowing down.
When the world or your life seems to be getting faster and faster and you are struggling to keep up, try doing something completely different. Slow down..or even stop! Even if its for 5 minutes, stand breathe, (Go lock yourself in the loo if that’s the only options for a quiet moment). Let things settle and it will buy you thinking time for what you want to do next, rather than being dragged along in the whirlwind being battered and bruised along the way.
Ask questions of your fears
I have battled anxiety for many years and I had never found anything that helped. Panic attacks got worse and worse till I couldn’t leave the house, use the phone or trust my decisions. Now I’m on my own for the first time, its scary as hell and I have to just wing it and pray decisions will work out, and you know what? I’ve asked a few people, and they say they are doing the very same thing. These people who look like they are so together, know how everything works and you wish you were like that, instead of indecisive and confused. Those same people have told me they too are making it up as they go along!
That was the first ‘the world isn’t what I thought it was’ moment. The second was that after reading some Pema Chodron books and countering every paranoid panic plea with; ‘Why?’ and answering that ‘why’ which led me to discover that; it wasn’t just the fact of keep finding myself in situations I couldn’t handle and being scared and angry because I was in that stuck situation, that I was angry about, but also, I was angry at myself. For not doing something differently, even when at the time there were no other options. Once I realised this, I made a list of the things I was scared about, which still haunted me from the past and asked each ‘Why?’ Why hadn’t I done something differently, it helped me forgive myself for a lot of things.
Its ok to say No
In the past I have always put everyone else before me. Gone along with what others wanted or expected of me, however much I wanted a different path. Now I’ve realised how much pain this causes me, I have now started to stop and consider what effect going along with the wishes of others will have on me. Its not about being selfish, its about self preservation. Trying not to get into situations that I will beat myself up about later. If my heart is screaming; ‘No’ I should listen. I have tried it a few times now and you know what? Nothing bad happens, either people accept it, or you discuss things more to find a compromise. Its GREAT.
Be kind to yourself as well as those around you.
Best wishes and thanks for reading.