Welcome Back
It would be fair to call this a bumpy year so far, but I’ve taken a big step into self care practice and the difference is amazing. I have recently had my first Reiki treatment and it was THE most incredible healing experience ever. It has made a massive difference to my anxiety, depression and grief issues and physical pain issues too.
Now I know this is a game of managing symptoms not things that are ‘fixable’ but this is the first time I have found something that has had this much of a positive result. I felt so blissed out afterwards and had the most comforting, nurturing feeling of being held for days afterwards.
I totally agreed with the lady who suggested meditation daily would be useful for me. The lady did a lot of grounding work with me and this is the most IN my body I’ve ever felt and in a good way. It felt like my soul had come home. Now its my job to make this body and this house a place it wants to stay in.
Goddess calls, Sound Therapy and Shamanic Drums
Recently I discovered Elen of the Ways, she is an antlered goddess, one who has associations with reindeer, following their paths and lay-lines. I have long been interested in lay-lines and dowsing with rods, and recently had help to create my own dowsing rods. I love my crystal pendulums which I regularly use too. I have felt so lost and scattered for many years and Elen seems the perfect goddess for me at the moment and I hope we journey together for a long time.
Elen of the Ways helped me find the Reiki healer, led me to my Shamanic drum, more grounding crystals came home and I re-learnt the importance of grounding and how sound plays into that journey. Many thanks to Jonathan from Heron Drums who creates the most amazing drums, much like crystals drums seem to choose those who need them most in the moment. I am the very humble, honored owner of a reindeer drum which has a smokey quartz crystal in the lacing at the back. I cried when I heard it played. FIle it under ‘Your soul speaks only as loud as it needs for you to listen’. Lets just say if I ignore my soul she just gets louder and makes me cry when I see what I most need on my journey. Limited dexterity means I can’t play the drum for long but the sound is very grounding and she is totally going to be part of my healing journey.
I’ve put a singing bowl on the landing, which I sound when I pass it, so I take a moment or two to be with that sound and being still.
Also on the sound therapy exploration I have invested in the Koshi chimes, the first one arrived today, the Ignis, OMG its soooo soothing, so I will live on weetabix to enable me to collect the others; terra, aria, aqua too.
Some new crystals have settled here and are helping as well.
I hope this doesn’t read as a boastful brag post because it really isn’t. I have seen self care as self indulgent and felt guilty just for buying a magazine. but after the healing effect of the Reiki, I realise that self care is not just important its vital. We live in a society that expects us to keep going till breaking point. WHY???? We have been fed this idea for so long it feels like its our idea too and we are bad people if we do not or cannot keep up.
Well I’m stepping into my power and saying this is what I NEED to survive right now.
Gentle soothing sounds, rest, sleep, to be still and process.
To be cautious of who is around me, as an INJF and empath, I feel the emotions of others really strongly, often way more strongly than they do. So I need time away from others to recover from intense energies and emotions.
I don’t drink, smoke, have holidays or even go out, so I will cultivate my meditation space, create a place I want to be in; be that a womb room to feel held, a zen den to step into silence, a shamanic area to drum, a place of solace within these walls.
I need to surround myself with what make me feel safe, nurtured, held and comforted in that space because that is what I most need in this moment. Others cannot fix this for me and I need to nurture myself and surround myself with what feels healing.
I also need Reiki in my life to help me re balance, ground and make peace with this body and this time and space that I find myself in.
I hope you find what feeds your soul, makes you smile, makes right now feel possible and can go for it, or at least take some steps towards it. All we have is right now, this moment, nothing and no one is forever, please do what makes you feel safe, feel nurtured, feel honored and respected in whatever safe way you can.
Thanks for reading
May all beings find peace, love & light
Billie x
A Space to Heal 